


Demons Who Would Be Gods

by masulevin



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Desire Demons (Dragon Age), F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Paranormal Investigators, Past Lavellan/Solas, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Sloth Demons (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:47:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7994161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masulevin/pseuds/masulevin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an early encounter with a demon, Idri Lavellan now has the power to mend places in the Veil where demons slip through. She uses her gift to run Skyhold Investigations, a paranormal investigative agency in Denerim. When former soldier Cullen Rutherford contacts her to help him fight the demons that have been plaguing him for months, she enlists the help of her loyal team: Dorian Pavus, a necromancer, who helps communicate with the friendly spirits in the area; Cole, an empath, who guides Idri's focus; and Bull, who denies being an ex-CIA agent, but is there to provide muscle in case things go wrong.</p><p>The team just didn't expect what they would find in Cullen's house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot for Cullavellan week on Tumblr. But then, as everything in my life does, it spiraled out of control. Two days later, I had 11,000 words completed and wanted to share it with you.
> 
> \---
> 
> Those who had been cast down,  
> the demons who would be gods,  
> began to whisper to men from their tombs within the earth.  
> Threnodies 8:21

As soon as Idri saw the man waiting for her, any doubts she had disappeared. A lot of people came into her office for kicks and giggles, just to say that they had talked to the neighborhood paranormal investigative team, wasting the time that she could better spend researching online or hunting down new leads.

It wasn’t every day that someone came in so desperate for help that he had to clutch the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white.

Idri hovered just outside of the waiting room, taking in the man who was waiting for her. He looked tall, even sitting down, with soft golden curls that she would literally have killed for in her younger years. He was well built, though he hid it under a dark hoodie, and the brown stubble that dusted his jaw made her feel just a little weak in the knees.

She forced herself to approach him, a professional smile plastered to her face, and gently introduced herself. “Mr. Rutherford? I’m Idri Lavellan.” She offered her hand for him to shake, and he jumped out of his chair to do so.

She was right. He towered over her, at least ten inches taller than her lithe frame. She was right about him having a serious problem too--he had deep circles under his light brown eyes that betrayed weeks of sleepless nights. He also had a new scar on his upper lip, pulling at the corner of his mouth when he smiled in greeting so that it was fetchingly lopsided. The sight of it was almost enough to make her miss the shock that traveled up her arm when their hands met between them.

She tore her eyes away from his mouth and adjusted her dark-rimmed glasses higher on her nose.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Lavellan,” he said politely, tucking his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans to hide their trembling.

She snorted at the title. “Just Idri, please. Follow me.” She turned without looking back at him and made her way down a short hallway to the room she used as her office. It was outfitted comfortably--at least as comfortably as it could be on her limited budget--with a plush chair behind her desk, two chairs on the desk’s other side, and a loveseat pushed up against one wall. She used that couch for napping on slow days, but sometimes clients brought their kids in and they needed somewhere soft to sit, so it was still a practical business purchase.

She settled down in her chair, tucking her short legs under herself as she sat, making herself look a little taller. She adjusted her glasses again and tapped on her keyboard a few times until her screen displayed the email she was looking for.

When she looked up, her client was still standing, hovering awkwardly between the two chairs.

“Please sit down, Mr. Rutherford.”

He obeyed again, though as he settled both feet started bouncing. “Call me Cullen.”

She nodded. “Cullen. I’ve read your email several times, and I must say I’m very intrigued with your case.” Her gaze fell back to the scar on his lip, and she forced herself to look at her laptop instead. She scrolled through the chain of messages they’d sent back and forth over the last several days, reminding herself about the situation as though she didn’t have each word already memorized.

Cullen leaned forward in his chair, propping his elbows up on his knees. That stilled the bouncing, but also pulled the material of his jacket tight across his shoulders. Idri sighed at that and ran her fingers through her short, unruly curls, making them stick up even more, though she ignored how it must make her look.

“What do you think? Can you help me?”

She met his eyes again, this time drawn in by the pleading desperation she saw in their depths. She’d never wanted to help a client more.

She took a deep breath. “Yes, I believe so.” Cullen visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping and his face falling into his hands. She wanted to rub his back and tell him everything would be okay.

But that would be ridiculous. For several reasons.

She shook it off. “Since it seems like such an extreme case, I’d like to get started as soon as possible. Tonight, even, if you can.” She picked up a pen and started fiddling with it, suddenly unable to sit still.

He nodded, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He pulled out a tattered piece of paper and handed it over to her. It was a check, made out to her, for the down payment she’d specified in her emails. She stared at the paper for a long moment, resisting the urge to hand it back to him and tell him she would help him for free because he clearly needed it so desperately. Instead she slipped it into one of her desk drawers to deal with later. It would surely be easier to take his money after she’d spent hours trying to rid his house of whatever type of ghost or demon plagued it.

“Tonight would be perfect. What--ah, what time?” When she looked back up from her desk, Cullen was rubbing the back of his neck, not quite looking directly at her. His eyes seemed to be fixed somewhere over her shoulder, perhaps at the calendar behind her.

She canted her head slightly to the left. “What time does the trouble usually start?”

A pause. “Just after sundown, usually. Right when it gets really dark.”

“Sundown is at 7:30 tonight, so expect me at 7:15.” She glanced back at her computer, scrolling down until she found what she was looking for. “I have your address here. Do you have anything else I need to know?”

He shook his head. A single blond curl fell onto his forehead, and he pushed it back with impatience. “Everything’s in the emails I sent you. Do--do I need to do anything before your arrival?”

Idri shrugged and waved her left hand dismissively. His eyes followed the movement and she saw the frown flit across his features before he hid it. She put her hands in her lap, running the thumb of her right hand over the mottled scar on her left palm, feeling the ridges and bumps she knew so well. His reaction was unusual only in that he didn’t immediately demand to know what happened to her.

She cleared her throat and tried again to answer his question: “My assistants and I will bring everything we need. You just have to worry about being there to unlock the door in time.” She smiled brightly. “Do you have any more questions?”

He shook his head and stood, offering his hand out to her to shake again. She stood as well, smoothing out her blouse before taking his hand in hers. His hand was large, she noted dimly, and very warm. The contact made her body tingle, and her cheeks warmed.

“I’ll walk you out.”

She led him back through the small office space and held the front door open for him. She hesitated for a full two seconds, watching him walk to his car, her eyes following the line of his body from wide shoulders to narrow hips and the curve of his--

A curse slipped out under her breath and she slammed the front door a little harder than she meant to. She glanced down at her watch and saw that it was barely noon. Plenty of time to let everyone know the plan and to get some rest before heading to Cullen’s.

\---

Cullen drove home in something of a daze. When he finally listened to Cassandra to reach out to Skyhold Investigations, he didn’t think anything would really come of it. He thought she’d just show up, burn some incense, and then try to charge him triple what her estimate was. That’s what the last psychic had tried to do, anyway, the one Leliana sent his way (as a joke, it turned out, but still).

What he hadn’t expected to find was a beautiful woman a little younger than him, dressed professionally in suit pants and a nice shirt, smiling and shaking his hand and wearing glasses that were adorably too big on her face. He also hadn’t expected the amount of questions she’d asked him over email--they had spent  _ days _ sending messages back and forth, sharing more of his life story with her than he had with anyone else in recent memory, dumping an embarrassing amount of information on her all at once.

Yet she still wanted to help him, charging him less than anyone else had ever quoted him. And he wasn’t going to have to wait months to have anyone come check out his house. She was going to come  _ immediately _ .

She was going to help him.

He was finally going to get some relief.

\---

He arrived home to see that Cassandra had driven over and let herself inside. He sighed heavily, parking next to her in his tiny driveway, running into the grass with two of his tires. He regretted ever giving her his house key, but he had to admit she did seem to know exactly when he needed someone to be there for him.

She’d brewed a pot of coffee and was reading his newspaper, barely glancing up at him when he walked through his front door.

“How did the meeting go?”

He took off his sneakers by the front door and removed his hoodie, placing sneakers and jacket neatly on the little shelves he’d installed for just that purpose. He ignored Cassandra as he padded around his house in his socks, making his own cup of coffee with (she claimed) too much sugar and settling down across from her at his kitchen table.

“It’s nice to see you too, Cass.” He arched his eyebrows at her, lips curling into a smirk.

She huffed at him, glaring over the top of her newspaper. “I thought we were beyond such pleasantries.” When he didn’t respond or change expression, she sighed more gently and said, “Very well. It’s nice to see you, Cullen, you are… I was going to say you are looking well, but that would be a lie.”

Cullen laughed and a ghost of a smile played across Cassandra’s dark lips, but she didn’t join him. He knew she was just being her usual honest self and didn’t mean anything by it. It was, in fact, her dislike of bullshit that led him to Idri Lavellan, who would hopefully solve all of his problems so he could start sleeping through the night like a normal person again.

He almost laughed again at that thought, but he stopped himself when he realized Cassandra was still staring at him expectantly. “The Skyhold people, ah, Idri’s team are coming tonight after seven. You’re welcome to stay if you want, but I imagine we’ll be up all night.”

Cassandra shrugged, unconcerned with the news. “It will not be my first all-nighter,” she informed him solemnly. “And I brought a book.” She took her coffee and went to curl up on one of the couches in Cullen’s living room, perfectly comfortable making herself at home even without his permission.

Cullen rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile that crept over his face. He and Cassandra had been through some tough shit together, and if anyone deserved to be that comfortable in his house, it should be her.

Actually, it  _ should  _ be him, but with everything else that was going on, he barely even thought of this place as his home. He’d had such high hopes when he moved here from Kirkwall, ready for a fresh start, but his demons had followed him. It took Cassandra months of convincing to make him even consider the possibility that his “demons” were  _ literal  _ demons.

Such things happened to other people, not to him.

He sighed into his coffee and left it sitting on the table to grow cold. If he was going to stay up all night, he might as well take a nap.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the referenced alcoholism. It's very brief, but I thought it deserved a mention.

Cole arrived at the office promptly at 6:45, ready to do a little paperwork before heading out to Cullen’s. He was especially excited for this assignment because, after reading Idri’s emails, he was convinced that Cullen could really use their help. Sensing Idri’s thoughts in that weird way of his, he suggested giving Cullen some kind of discount if not waiving their fee completely.

She promised to think about it, and they settled together in her office to wait for the rest of their crew to arrive. She went through her regular routine of checking out her equipment, EMF readers, thermal guns, and the like, while Cole happily went through his notes for some of his clients from his day job at the therapist's’ office across town.

Dorian arrived a few minutes later, looking perfectly groomed as always, a carrying case of Starbucks for all of them. He greeted Idri with a kiss on the cheek, pressing a mocha into her eager hands, before sprawling out on the couch. Cole accepted his hot chocolate with a quiet thanks, barely looking up from his notebook.

“So what’s the deal with this guy?” Dorian demand after the silence proved to be too much for him.

Idri glanced up from where she was reading through Cullen’s emails for the eight hundredth time. “Didn’t you read the brief I sent you?”

Dorian scoffed. “Reading is for people who don’t have people to just tell them what they need to know.”

“Well. Best start reading then.” Idri winked at Cole, who just blinked at her with his big eyes, and then sighed. She glanced at her watch to see that Bull was cutting it extremely close, as usual, but they still had a little time to spare.

She took the extra few minutes to change into more comfortable clothes, swapping out her glasses for contacts in case things got messy at the house. She took a long moment alone in the bathroom, leaning on the sink, inhaling deeply, centering herself.

Bull arrived just when she expected him to, exactly one minute before she would have locked the doors of her van and left him behind. He slid into the seat just behind Idri, using the extra space behind her chair that her short legs required to fit his tall frame into her vehicle. She glared at him in the rearview mirror but he just offered her a smile, winking his one good eye at her.

Dorian rolled his eyes at Bull and passed him the coffee that was already starting to go cold before turning his attention to his phone, trying to quickly read through the report Idri had sent him that afternoon, detailing everything she thought was relevant to their task.

They rode together in silence, working their way out of their older district to Cullen’s house. It was only a few miles away, out on the edge of the city. Just when the houses started to spread out a little, giving neighbors space from each other, and they found themselves outside of a house with three cars already shoved into its narrow driveway and front yard.

Idri frowned and parked in front of the mailbox, not seeing another option that didn’t block any cars in. Her little team piled out of her van and headed to the front door.

It was a modest house, probably two or three bedrooms and a bathroom or two. This far out of the center of the town, it likely had a nice back yard, perfect for dogs or kids. Or both, Idri thought to herself, before recognizing the train of thought and shutting it down. It looked like Cullen had fixed it up. He said he’d been living there for a little over a year, but the yard was immaculate with bushes still trying to grow from where they’d been recently planted. The paint looked new too, fresh coats on the siding and shutters.

She rang the doorbell and took a step back to admire the porch swing before glancing over her shoulder at her team. Bull was standing at the back of the group, arms crossed over his wide chest, looking exactly like the bodyguard he was. Cole looked exactly the opposite, as comforting and non-threatening as any adult man could look, all soft lines and big eyes. Dorian has his normal look of disinterest on his face, but that slipped away and she could swear she saw his eyes literally sparkle when the door clicked open.

Idri turned back around and tried to rearrange her face into an appropriately professional expression as she met his gaze. She momentarily forgot what she wanted to say when she saw just how  _ relieved  _ he looked to see them. No one ever looked so relieved.

She cleared her throat. “Hi! Hello. We’re all here.”

Cullen smiled and took a step away from the door, holding it open so the group could file through. Idri took one look at his bare feet and slipped her sneakers off, leaving them by the wall as she walked further into the house. The three men trailing behind her followed her lead, moving with confidence into their usual positions.

Cole breezed past Cullen, looking him up and down, before finding a place in an overstuffed chair. He opened his notebook immediately, clicked open his pen, and began looking around the room expectantly. His wide eyes took in all the details he could see, absorbing the mood of the room, idly twirling the pen nib on the paper.

Bull grunted a greeting, his single eye gauging the defenses of the house, assessing whether or not any damage had already been done to the property or if it was likely to happen tonight. He disappeared from the living room immediately, getting himself acquainted with the house, not bothering to ask Cullen for a tour.

Dorian allowed himself an indulgent look at Cullen, appreciating the man’s body in much the same way that Idri had earlier that afternoon. He gave Idri a wink when he finished his inspection--earning himself a frown and a quick shake of the head--before sitting down cross legged on the floor and closing his eyes, back to the professional he was, starting to clear his mind before the night ahead.

Idri offered Cullen a slightly apologetic smile when she saw he was staring at the people who had just invaded his home with a wrinkled forehead. His face softened when they made eye contact, but he still held himself with muscles tense.

“Sorry about them,” she offered, still standing near the pile of discarded shoes and clutching her bag of gear. “They have to scope out the place before we get started.”

Cullen nodded. “Can I help you with anything?” His hands fluttered uselessly for a moment, not sure what to do, and he quickly shoved them into his front pockets.

She shook her head. “No, no. Just point me in the right direction. Where does it usually start?”

“Oh, uh, around me. Usually.” He shrugged his shoulders, and Idri’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really? Not in any particular room?”

He cleared his throat. “It doesn’t even have to be in this house, really. That’s why I think I’m the target.”

Idri had been scanning the room to find a good place to set up the first of the cameras she’d brought with her, but his words made her attention snap back to him. Her eyes had gone wide, and Cullen idly noticed they were a blue so icy they looked grey. “Huh. Okay. Do whatever you normally do, then. Pretend we’re not here.”

She turned away from him fully then, moving to unpack her bag. Cullen hesitated for another moment, then disappeared into the kitchen to find something to drink.

Cassandra was still in the kitchen, nursing another cup of coffee, looking tense as Rylen kept up a steady stream of conversation. Cullen grinned at the baleful look Cassandra shot him, filling up a glass of water and drinking deeply, leaning back against the counter.

Bull appeared then, having finished his self-guided tour of the house, and held out his hand for Cullen to shake. “Name’s Bull,” he offered. “I’m just here to be the muscle in case anything goes south.” His eyes raked over Cullen’s form, then took in the appearance of the two others sitting at the table. Focusing on Cassandra, he widened his grin. She looked away with a disgusted noise, and he shrugged, not at all offended. 

“I’m Rylen,” Rylen volunteered, smirking as he earned Bull’s grin. “I didn’t realize this was happening tonight, but I’d never miss it. Cullen’s my sponsor.”

Bull looked back to Cullen, waiting to see if the blonde man was willing to share. He was. “I’m eighteen months sober. Five hundred and seven days. Rylen’s been sober for… forty three days now, right?” Rylen nodded, looking somehow both sheepish and proud of himself at the same time.

Bull clapped Cullen on the back, hard enough to make him wince. “That’s great, you guys. Congratulations.” Cullen smiled in response, and Bull’s attention turned back to Cassandra. “How you doing?” 

She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes in time to see his little head nod, and laughed despite herself. “Very well, thank you.”

“That’s Cassandra,” Cullen provided helpfully, smirking as he crossed his arms over his chest. “We met when we were both stationed overseas.” 

“Aha!” Bull gave the pair an appraising glance, the admission confirming his suspicion. “Army?”

Cassandra gave a disdainful sniff. “Navy.” She nodded at Cullen and added, “Marines,” before throwing back the last of her coffee.

“What about you?” Rylen asked, Starkhaven brogue drawing Cassandra’s attention back in a way that made Bull’s grin widen. “You look military.”

“He was in the CIA.” Idri was there suddenly, a little grin on her face, leaning against the door frame from the living room with both hands. Everyone turned to look at her, and Cullen felt his chest tighten at her sudden appearance. She was dressed much more casually than she had been in her office, wearing a pair of light jeans and a Denerim University t-shirt. Her socks, he noted, were mismatched. One was red and one was black, and for some reason the sight made his chest tighten even more.

He snapped back to attention when she said, “Whoever’s staying, come into the living room so we can get started.” She glanced at Cassandra and Rylen briefly, letting them know without speaking that they should leave if they weren’t planning on helping, and disappeared again.

Everyone filed into the living room behind her, making themselves at home on various pieces of furniture or the floor. Cullen looked around, taking in the changes Idri had made to his home. Two cameras were set up on either end of the room, red lights glowing, recording everything. A circular metal object sat in the center of the coffee table between a flashlight and two other black rectangles that he couldn’t identify from so far away.

Idri was standing next to the camera farthest away from him, and she smiled warmly at him as he entered the room behind his friends. He felt himself floating closer to her, drawn in by her smile, even as Rylen and Cassandra settled next to each other on the long couch. 

“Cullen,” his name, spoken softly, snapped him back to attention, “if you’ll sit down here we can go ahead and get started.” There was one chair left open for him, just off to Idri’s left, and he settled into it. He immediately leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees, ready to hear what she had to say.

“I’m going to run through this quickly. I’m Idri Lavellan. I’m here because I can repair places in the Veil where demons are coming through. Unfortunately, by the time we  _ know  _ a demon can come through, it usually already has.” She smiled a little grimly, unconsciously rubbing the scar on her left hand. “This is Dorian Pavus.” The man smirked and winked at Rylen, who blushed. “He’s our necromancer. If anything bothering you is related to a person who has passed, he’ll be able to take care of it. Cole is our empath. He’ll be able to warn us if anything strong is about to break through, assist Dorian in speaking with spirits who are reluctant to engage, and help take care of any _ lingering hurts  _ that might be triggering some of these attacks.” Next to Cullen, Cole was studying him with serious eyes, and he shifted a little uncomfortably in his chair.

Rylen glanced over at Bull, who was standing with his arms crossed against the room from Idri. “What’s the spy here for?”

“Cleanup crew. I’m here in case things get messy.” The glint of Bull’s teeth made it clear that he wasn’t worried about housework.

Idri cleared her throat, drawing attention back to her. “I can’t guarantee what’s going to happen this evening, so if you’re uncomfortable or nervous you should probably leave now to avoid drawing any demons or spirits away with you.” She was looking pointedly at Rylen and Cassandra, who both shrugged and didn’t try to move.

She nodded at them. “Okay then. We have two cameras set up here to record anything that might happen here. It’s good to review later, and you can use it if you have to file an insurance claim later. On the table we have an EMF detector. It’s reading the whole room, so if anything with a magnetic field--including one of you--moves close to it, it will make a sound.” To demonstrate, Dorian reached out and passed his hand over the circular device in the center of the table. It let off a high-pitched whine before he withdrew his hand and settled back in his chair.

“It’s good for spirits who can’t or won’t speak to Dorian. We also have a thermometer and a digital recorder. They’re not as important and also self-explanatory. Any questions?” She looked at Cassandra and Rylen first, then at Cullen, but no one spoke. She nodded once. “Okay. We’ll get started then.”

She moved with confidence, striding across the room to switch the lights off. Darkness fell immediately, the only source of illumination the red lights on the cameras and a lamp down the street outside. It would take them all a few minutes to adjust, so she moved to sit next to Cullen, folding her legs under her to sit on the floor by his side.

He started to protest, rising slightly to offer her his chair, but she felt his movement and pressed her hand over his. He settled immediately, freezing back into his chair, as both of them briefly stopped breathing at the contact. She withdrew her hand immediately and cleared her throat.

“Cole, are you feeling anything?”

The younger man hesitated, tilting his head as if he was listening to something. “It’s so dark but she shines so bright. It hurts to look. Would it burn to touch?”

Idri sighed softly, and Cullen thought her heard her mutter  _ of course  _ under her breath, but he was too embarrassed by Cole’s words to really be sure.

“Cole, are you feeling anything that everyone needs to know?”

“No.”

Their eyes adjusted to the light, Cullen could see Dorian and Idri exchange a glance. The man rolled his eyes and offered his own answer to the unspoken question. “There are spirits nearby, but none seem particularly interested yet. I can try to call one if you’d like.”

“Please, Dorian.” He nodded once and closed his eyes, focusing his attention on getting his will across the Veil. It was sometimes difficult to speak with spirits, and even more difficult to pull one across the Veil who didn’t want to come. That would cause more harm than good, so he almost never tried it.

Silence descended again. Nothing happened. Cassandra made a faint noise of disgust and shifted around in her seat, impatient. Rylen patted her knee, but immediately withdrew his hand when she turned her glare on him.

“Nothing yet, my dear,” Dorian said finally, shrugging a little. “They seem hesitant. They may be scared of something.” He paused, then muttered, “I wish Solas were here. He could always get things started for us.”

Idri grunted, the noise sounding almost like Cassandra’s, and Rylen spoke up. “Solas? Is someone else coming?”

“He was our expert on the Veil,” Dorian helpfully responded, leaning towards him, “until he and our lovely investigator broke up and he fucked off to teach at DU.” He sounded almost joking, but there was an edge of anger under his words that Cullen immediately picked up on.

Rylen looked embarrassed, turning his gaze on Idri with wide eyes. “Maker, I’m sorry.”

She waved a hand at him, dismissing his apology even as it was forming. “It’s not a problem. It happened a while ago.”

Dorian wasn’t ready to let it go though, and added sullenly, “He always could get things started when the spirits were reluctant. And then he had to go and try to talk Idri into getting her tattoo removed and then left us when she wouldn’t.”

“Dorian--”

“He left you because of a  _ tattoo _ ?” Cullen’s voice was incredulous, more so than he meant.

Idri turned to him, looking up from her position on the floor next to him. “It isn’t anything  _ bad,  _ he was just weird about it. He doesn’t like tattoos at all.”

“Huh. I can’t imagine breaking up with you over a tattoo.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Cullen wanted to take them back. It wasn’t  _ quite _ what he’d meant to say, and it rather sounded like he was flirting. Which he definitely wasn’t.

“She wants to show him. She thinks he’ll like it, want to touch it. Please touch--”

“Cole, we’ve talked about this.” Idri’s face was completely hidden from Cullen, as she’d raised a hand to block her expression from him. It hid her blush and the sharp look she sent to Cole, but she quickly pulled herself back together, professional mein falling back into place.

Cole hummed quietly, wanting to say more but he could feel the embarrassment rolling of Cullen and Idri in waves. He wanted to say  _ he wants to see, he wants to touch, she wants to be accepted, he wants to accept.  _ But he didn’t, instead saying, “Something is coming. It’s hungry.”

Everyone snapped to attention, sitting up a little straighter. Only Bull didn’t move, already on high alert.

Dorian tilted his head, listening too. “The spirits are hiding now. I think--” he stopped and muffled a yawn. “ _ Kaffas _ . I _ know _ it’s a sloth demon.” Idri felt herself drifting to the side, cursing her luck, and her head came to a rest against Cullen’s leg. His hand rested on her head, fingers tightening in her hair, as the EMF reader started to screech.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sloth demon time! Also violence and mentioned child abuse.

Idri recognized the Fade immediately. It wasn’t the first time her group had been set upon by a sloth demon while on a case, but she vehemently hoped it would be the last. They were always the most exhausting to fight--both mentally, where all the work was happening, and physically, because the demon was siphoning off their strength to feed itself.

She looked around, taking stock of her surroundings. She was back home--not her one bedroom apartment where she lived with Madame de Fer the hairless cat--but on the farm where she grew up. She was twirling slowly on the tire swing that was hanging from the big pecan tree in the front yard. She watched, allowing herself this brief moment, as the farmhouse slowly spun into view.

It was a beautiful, two-story white house with a wide front porch. Hydrangea bushes were in full bloom along the front porch, filling the air with their sweet scent. Beyond the house, she could see chickens pecking in the grass, searching for food. Goats bleated in the pasture farther back, behind a tall wire fence.

Idri sighed and climbed out of the swing, heading into the house. The grass was damp under her feet, and she immediately regretted removing her shoes. She focused on that uncomfortable feeling as she walked up the steps, hesitating on the porch for just a moment before she pushed through the front door.

It was always the same with these sloth demons. They tried to give her a place where she’d be content to just sit around and waste away, but why they always chose  _ this  _ place was beyond her. It just hurt every time she walked through it. She wanted nothing more than to leave.

Singing drifted from the kitchen, and Idri followed the sound. She stopped at the door, indulging herself for just another moment. A woman stood at the sink, singing happily as she washed a pile of dishes. Her hair, blonde like Idri’s, was straight, falling almost down to her waist. It was braided into a fishtail, just the way Idri always fixed it for her. She turned, meeting Idri’s gaze. Grey eyes met grey eyes, and the woman smiled.

“Welcome home, Idri.”

“Thanks, Mamae. I missed you.” Idri crossed the kitchen with a few short strides and wrapped her mother in a hug. She was taller than her mother now, and she pressed her nose into the blonde locks. She took a deep breath of elfroot, a tear slipping from her closed eyes, and pulled a knife out of the sink to slip between her mother’s ribs.

Her mother and the farmhouse immediately faded away, replaced with smoldering heaps of ash. Idri’s feet sank into the embers and she swiped at her damp cheeks with her free hand. Without looking at the yard, where she knew the chickens would lie dead as they had after the farmhouse--and her family within it--had burned years ago, Idri headed for the swirling green light that would take her into another place of the Fade, to another member of her little party.

She quickly found Dorian, Cole, and Bull. They were already together in the area of the Fade the demon had set up for Cole. It was a lovely green field, where Cole was sitting down covered in rabbits. They were happy to have the young man stroke their fur, but he stood up as soon as she stepped into the area.

“It’s about time our fearless leader got here,” Dorian greeted. “Ready to go save our clients?”

Idri nodded, and together they stepped back through the green light. After their first disastrous time fighting a sloth demon, when Solas had to find them all individually and tell them what was happening, this had always been their plan. They always met wherever Cole was, because he had the hardest time in the Fade, and find the clients from there. They all, with the exception of Cole, clutched the weapons that they had scavenged from the Fade. Idri kept her kitchen knife, Dorian had a shotgun for some reason, and Bull clutched a sledgehammer in his shaking hands.

The Fade spat them out somewhere familiar, at least to Idri. The small used bookstore was just a ten minute walk from her office, and she often found herself there if work was slow. She knew the owner by name, even, and had amassed quite a collection of old paperbacks. Dorian often joked that she was keeping the place open all by herself.

Except that clearly wasn't the case. One of their clients clearly loved the place too, otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to just waltz right in. Idri wondered if it was only this easy to find each other because their physical bodies were in such close proximity or if it was always this easy to find other people in the thrall of the same demon. She’d only ever had this experience with her friends.

They split up without discussing it, Cole sticking with Idri as always, and made their way slowly through the winding bookshelves. The store was in an old house, full of small rooms and short hallways. It was almost maze-like, really, and Idri found herself happy that she’d spent so many hours there with Varric showing her his unique organizational system.

“She doesn’t remember how she got here, but she’s happy.” Cole’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and he grabbed Idri’s elbow to make sure she was paying attention. “She never gets this much peace. She doesn’t know it’s a dream.”

“Where is she?”

Cole didn’t answer, just slipped ahead, now leading the way. Idri followed along behind him as he pushed into the room that held Varric’s collection of romance novels. The room held two overstuffed chairs by the large window, and they found Cassandra curled up in one of them, her nose buried in a book. She was reading eagerly, eyes scanning the page like it might disappear at any time.

Which wasn’t too far from the truth.

“Ahh--excuse me.” Idri didn’t know her name, and she silently cursed herself.

Cassandra jumped, snapping the book closed instinctively. “What? Idri?”

“Do you remember how you got here? This is the Fade. You have to wake up.” Cassandra tilted her head to the side, squinting at the pair who had so rudely interrupted her private time. Idri could see the gears working in the other woman’s head, watched the realization dawn on her face, then she disappeared.

Cole smiled. “She was happy to find the quiet, but she was happier to find the truth,” he informed her, then turned and started leading the way back to the foyer of the bookstore.

They met Dorian and Bull there, both men looking somewhat uneasy.

“We didn’t find anyone, Boss,” Bull informed her, squeezing the handle of the sledgehammer so tightly his knuckles started turning white.

“That woman was here,” Idri informed him. “With the short black hair.”

Bull’s lips twitched, almost a smile, but it quickly fell away when he remembered where they were. “Cassandra. Good.”

“Let’s stop standing around,” Dorian snapped, trying in vain to smooth the wrinkles out of his shirt. “I hate this place.” He shot a glare at Cole, who had opened his mouth. “Don’t say anything.” Without waiting, Dorian turned sharply on his heel and stepped through the light to the next dream over.

Idri followed immediately, ready to reprimand Dorian for leaving her behind, but paused when she realized she was standing face to face with a completely naked Rylen. Dorian seemed similarly shocked, his mouth hanging slightly open, drinking in the sight of the muscled body facing him.

The man clearly spent some time in the gym, and thick, swirling lines of ink covered his right shoulder and upper arm, snaking across his chest and side. Idri tilted her head to the side, squinting, as she tried to figure out why Rylen was naked or  _ exactly  _ what kind of dream they’d just walked into. They were fighting a demon of sloth, not one of desire.

Rylen, for his part, took the new development in stride. “It’s about time you got here!” he crowed, throwing his arms open wide in welcome. Dorian swallowed hard, eyes raking down the man’s body. “I couldn’t figure out how to get out.”

Bull and Cole appeared suddenly behind Idri and Dorian, and Bull let out a low whistle. “So you just took your clothes off? Help you think, does it?”

“You’re too small, too stupid, too scrawny, why did I get stuck with a child like you? Worthless, shouldn’t even waste food on you. Stop crying! I’ll show her, I showed her, not small anymore, now  _ he _ thinks I’m handsome.”

Rylen’s smile fell at Cole’s words, face flushing. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned slightly away.

Cole pressed forward, hovering on his toes just out of Rylen’s reach. “She was wrong. She didn’t hate you, she hated herself. I can’t help you forget, but I can help make you stronger.”

Rylen cleared his throat, but it was obvious to everyone that he had been on the verge of tears. “Thanks, man.” He refused to look Dorian in the eye, looking instead at Idri. “I was here with…” he stopped, then started again. “Someone else. But it’s just me now.”

Idri nodded, understanding perfectly. “You’re in the Fade. You just have to wake up. If it helps you picture it, you can walk through the rift here.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder, and Rylen nodded. He pushed through the group and stepped through the rift, disappearing even before it had fully surrounded his body.

“That was unusual,” Bull commented. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Idri made a disgusted noise as Dorian nodded his agreement. “Let’s just get out of here. We still have to get Cullen, and then we have to kill that sloth demon.” She waited, looking at each of the men in the eye to make sure they were all on the same page, then turned to push through the rift.

As she had expected it to, it dumped her out in a new location. It held the same foggy quality of all the other dreams she’d been in, but it wasn’t anywhere she recognized. She waited for her team to join her, then made her way slowly forward, pulled along by something she didn’t quite recognize.

They found themselves on the far end of a grassy expanse, a rectangle circled by a racing track. The sun was bright overhead, making it difficult to see, but Idri got the feeling they were at a high school somewhere. She shaded her eyes with one hand, tightening her grip on the knife with the other. Just because she hadn’t had to fight anyone since she left her dream didn’t mean she could relax.

“He still wants to see your tattoo.” Idri whipped her head to the side to look at Cole, who was pointing ahead of them. “He wants to tell you how beautiful you are, bright like the sun.”

Dorian snickered from her other side, and Idri grunted. “Don’t say those things in front of him, Cole,” she admonished gently.

“I won’t,” Cole promised. “But they make you happy. I like making you happy.”

Idri’s cheeks blushed bright red, and she pushed ahead of the little group so she could more easily ignore Dorian’s muffled laughter.

They found Cullen after a few more minutes, laying in the middle of the field. He had his arms and legs spread out, fingers clutching at the soft grass. He opened one eye when Idri’s shadow fell over his face, and he smiled brightly.

“Is this what normally happens to you?” Idri demanded, hands on her hips. “You didn’t mention it.”

Cullen shrugged but made no move to stand. “I dream about this place often, but I’ve always fallen asleep in my bed first. I didn’t realize it was a demon’s attack, but that explains why I’m always so tired after I wake up.”

Cole’s voice interrupted: “He tastes delicious; I want him to last.”

Idri froze in place, eyes still locked with Cullen’s as he blinked slowly at the man’s words. Dorian fell into giggles, covering his mouth and turning away, trying without success to pretend to be professional. There was no professionalism in the Fade, apparently.

When Idri’s eyes finally flickered to meet Cole’s steady gaze, a warning clearly written there, he frowned. “The demon. It comes when it’s hungry, like a snack. Like those cookies Sera bakes for us, only for special occasions. It wants him to last for a long time.”

Tension leaked out of her shoulders. “Oh,” she breathed, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. “That’s good news.”

“Is it?” Cullen sat up finally, but didn’t try to stand.

Idri nodded and offered her hand to him. “Yes. If the sloth demon liked you less, you would have died a long time ago.”

“Good thing you’re so  _ delicious. _ ” Dorian was back, smirking, watching as Idri helped the now blushing Cullen to his feet.

Cullen’s mind went blank as his hand met Idri’s. It felt like someone had punched him in the center of his chest, knocking the wind out of him. He’d forgotten how to breath, somehow, just from a simple touch. He pulled his hand away immediately, afraid Idri would notice the expression on his face and understand what it meant. He didn’t realize that she was having the same thoughts, only she didn’t want to let go. She wanted to chase that feeling and see what it meant. Even Solas hadn’t felt like that when their skin had touched.

Idri ignored Dorian’s comment. “We need to fight the demon as soon as we can. It might be savoring you, but it certainly isn’t doing the same to the rest of us.”

She turned on her heel, intending to walk back to the rift, but she only made it a few steps before she was knocked off her feet.

She fell backwards into Cullen’s arms, and he caught her easily. He had been so focused on her that he didn’t notice the formless column of smoke that had suddenly pushed her backward.

Bull recognized it immediately though, and he let loose a loud roar, running around them to put his sledgehammer to good use. He slammed it into the column of smoke, which quickly solidified into the form of a great bear. It roared back at Bull and reared up, baring its large claws. It went to swipe at Bull’s exposed stomach, but Dorian quickly fired his shotgun.

The bear--the sloth demon--roared again in pain. Idri made to step forward with her knife, but Cole pulled it out of her fingers before she could make it a full step forward. He moved so quickly it was like he disappeared, slipping behind the bear to slice open its skin.

Cullen wrapped his arms around Idri and hauled her backwards, pulling her out of the way of the bear’s sharp claws and long teeth. She struggled against his grip at first, but he only tightened his hold on her, setting her down once she finally relaxed.

She hated seeing her team in harm’s way. Usually only minor demons bothered them, but even fighting wraiths made her nervous. She growled but didn’t try to join the fray. Cullen released her but kept his hands on her shoulders. He squeezed gently, reassuring, and Idri let him hold her even as she vibrated with anger.

The bear fell quickly, even with only three people attacking it. Dorian had quickly run out of shells and had resorted to hitting the bear in the face with the stock. He leaned over, breathing heavily, and nearly fell when Bull clapped him on the back.

“What do we do now?” Cullen’s voice was low, close to her ear, and the sound made her shiver. His hands were still on her shoulders, and he squeezed again gently, rubbing gently down to her arms. It was an intimate moment and she found her heart rate quickening under his touch.

Dorian and Bull eyed the contact with identical grins on their faces while Cole just looked back and forth between the two of them, a contented smile on his face, humming a tune that no one quite recognized.

Idri forced herself to step away from his touch, reminding herself that they were still in the Fade and they were still in danger. Turning to face the whole group, she said, “The demon is dead, so now we just… wake up. It isn’t holding us asleep any longer. We can discuss our next steps back at the house.”

The men all nodded and Cullen thought he could hear Bull mutter  _ finally  _ under his breath before turning to lead the group out of the dream.

Cullen and Idri were the only two left in his dream when hands grabbed both of their arms from behind. Idri spun around, slicing out with the knife, but she only hit air. They turned back around and something grabbed her wrist, squeezing until the knife fell to the grass and Idri was crying out.

Cullen jumped to her defense, hands closing around the neck of the tall, horned woman who was standing between him and their way out. She was nearly naked and smelled strongly of flowers, the scent apparently emanating from her lavender skin. She just laughed at Cullen’s attack and used her free hand to stroke his face.

“My handsome soldier,” she purred. “It’s so rare that Sloth and I both get you on the same night. I know you like your dreams with me better than the ones he gives you.” Cullen had frozen under her touch, fingers still wrapped around her throat but no longer squeezing. Idri had gone still as well, hypnotized by the desire demon’s spell. “And I see you’ve brought a friend. My, my, she’s a lovely little thing. I’m sure one of my sisters would be  _ happy  _ to play with her while I keep  _ you  _ busy.”

A second demon appeared behind the first, licking her lips as she looked at Idri. “Come to me, my love,” it said, floating over to her and pulling her from the first demon’s grasp. “I know what you dream about when you’re alone, when you ache and slip a hand between your thighs. I can make it come true for you, sweetling; I can make it so much better.”

Then Cullen was gone, the field was gone, and Idri was alone with the demon, floating through the Fade.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desire demon time. You know what that means.
> 
> It gets more violent in this chapter, but then it's sweet before everything's over.

Idri found herself falling back onto a soft down comforter. Its warmth welcomed her, enveloping her, begging her to stay in its clutches.

She struggled to sit up, to run, but she stopped as she saw Solas standing before her. He wore her favorite outfit of his, the dark jeans that hugged his ass and always drew her eyes to it, the grey sweater that was so soft and set off his eyes, the sweater she had bought for his birthday just before he left her.

That thought made her frown, even as he prowled across the room to her. If he had left her, why--

“I missed you,” he answered as though he heard her thoughts. “You’re all I ever wanted, vhenan, my heart. I couldn’t stay away.”

He pushed her back down onto the bed with a fierce kiss, climbing on top of her. He pinned her down, laying across her, long fingers already slipping under her shirt to cup her breast, skillful lips moving along her jaw, down her neck, sucking on her pulse point.

Her body betrayed her even as her mind rebelled. Her eyes drooped shut and a moan escaped her lips. She let Solas settle between her legs so she could buck against him, rubbing to give herself the friction she’d missed in the long months since he left.

He left.

He left her.

She was alone.

Unbidden, a picture formed behind her eyelids. Golden curls, honey eyes, a scarred lip, broad shoulders. Cullen. She was here for _Cullen_.

“Stop!” she yelled, pushing Solas off of her with all of her strength. He pulled away, a snarl on his face, and his form shimmered, growing indistinct as it changed back into the purple-skinned desire demon.

Purple sparks of electricity sparked between its hands as it studied Idri. It turned its hands toward her, palms out, ready to strike. Then it stopped. It dropped its hands, head cocked to the side like it was listening.

Then, it smiled, exposing a row of sharp teeth, and Idri went cold.

“I see,” it purred, floating closer to where Idri still huddled on the bed. “You have a _new_ desire. Let me help you, sweetling…”

Its form rippled again, almost disappearing before suddenly Cullen was standing before her. His jeans hung low on his hips, and his shirt was missing, showing off the golden curls dusted across his chest and trailing down below his navel. His chest and stomach were just as firmly defined as she’d imagined, and she _had_ imagined, and she felt her pulse quickening.

Cullen--no, the _demon_ \--stalked toward her. It stretched, muscles rippling, then ran one hand through its hair. Curls fell from their carefully sculpted places and bounced across its forehead. It leaned down, putting one solid arm on either side of her, bringing their faces level. Its eyes were the same golden brown, but held none of the warmth that the real Cullen held for her.

Idri took a deep breath to scream, but the demon leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss. It was hard, bruising, and the demon bit her bottom lip. Idri thought she tasted blood, and her body rebelled. Even before she realized she’d made the decision, her hands formed fists and slammed into the demon’s throat.

It fell back, choking, and Idri was on it. She launched herself from the bed and tackled the demon to the floor, digging at those beautiful eyes with her fingernails. The demon wailed, losing its hold on Cullen’s form, and suddenly Idri was sitting on the chest of the desire demon’s true body. It flailed under her, legs kicking, nails scratching long gouges down Idri’s arms and chest.

The pain flared hot in Idri’s mind, but she ignored it, giving all of her strength into killing the demon with her bare hands. It took an eternity, and she was covered with blood--both hers and the demon’s--before she felt the life drain out of her enemy.

She collapsed, rolling onto the floor by the demon, gasping for breath. She wrapped her arms around herself, but pain flared where her hands touched her skin. She looked down and saw spiderwebs of red flaring out from where the demon had clutched her at the end, marks of the lightning that the demon used as its weapon. They were inflamed, still burning, and Idri silently prayed that they wouldn’t scar.

_Cullen._

She had to get to him. The first desire demon had seemed to know him well, had mentioned sharing him with the sloth demon.

_Maker, what’s so special about this man that so many demons want him?_

Idri dragged herself to her feet, looking around the room for anything she could use as a weapon. A mirror hung over a dressing table, and Idri considered it for a moment before nodding to herself. She pulled a pillowcase off of the bed and wrapped her hand in it before punching the mirror as hard as she could. It shattered easily, glass falling around her, and she picked up the longest piece in her still-wrapped hand.

The mirror, though, had been hiding something. On its other side was another room, similar to the one she was in, but the colors were darker, warmer almost. She climbed through it tentatively, feeling the Fade shift around her, and she crept along the wall, looking for Cullen or the demon.

She had to make her way through two other doors before she found what she was looking for. The last room had a large bed, covered in blankets and pillows, and right in the middle Cullen and a blonde woman were wrapped in each other’s arms.

Growing bolder, Idri ran up to the bed and grabbed the demon by its hair, pulling it off of Cullen. It screamed and clawed at her hand, but Idri barely even noticed the pain or the new stream of blood dripping to the floor.

She knew the feeling of the curls she held gripped in her hand. She knew the pale skin that was fully exposed to her now, as she stared down at the desire demon’s replication of _herself._

She glanced up, eyes wide, at Cullen. He was sitting now, staring at her with wild eyes. He was breathing heavily, and Idri looked him right in the eyes as she leaned down to draw the jagged edge of the glass shard across the desire demon’s throat.

It let out a wail as she started that cut off quickly into a gurgle. The demon-Idri quickly turned into the desire demon’s natural form as its life bled away onto the floor.

The threat gone, Idri dropped the glass and the pillowcase and stumbled forward. She fell heavily towards the bed, and Cullen was there to catch her in an instant. He laid her down gently, smoothing out her hair. His face was just inches away from hers, and she stared up at him blankly, realizing that the desire demon hadn’t been able to truly capture Cullen’s likeness at all.

His eyes weren’t a flat brown, they were full of flecks of honey and amber and gold, sparkling even in the low light of the demon’s den. His curls had more texture, the stubble on his face grew unevenly, and the scar, that beautiful scar, hadn’t shown up in the desire demon at all. He smelled better too, like soap and sweat and _man._ Demons never smelled the way they should.

“Are you okay?” Cullen whispered his question, voice trembling along with his hands.

Idri nodded and sat up slowly, giving him time to back up. He did, but he kept his hands on hers like he was afraid she’d disappear. She let him hold her hands, stroking his fingers with her thumbs.

“You saved me,” he breathed, eyes boring into hers.

She cleared her throat, averting her gaze. “Well. Someone had to.” She noticed he had a stylized lion’s head on his chest. It had beautiful red, black, and gold fur, and it was roaring triumphantly. The desire demon had missed that little detail too. “Are _you_ okay?”

“I’m better than you are.” He pulled one hand free and gingerly touched the lightning pattern on her arms. It hurt, but she didn’t flinch away from his touch. She wanted him to touch all of her. “How did you escape?”

Idri turned her hands over, showing him the smears of blood that she hadn’t been able to wipe away, the broken nails, the large scar on her palm. She didn’t have to say anything, and Cullen immediately pulled her against his bare chest in a crushing hug. She melted against him, feeling tears prickling behind her eyes. She fought against them. Now wasn’t the time. She shouldn’t cry in front of a client.

But the way Cullen was stroking her hair, murmuring into her hair that _she_ was safe, as though she hadn’t been the one to kill two desire demons… she couldn’t help it. It felt too right to be in his arms, and when he heard her first sob he just pulled her closer and let her cry for as long as she needed to.

When she calmed herself, she pulled away, and met his gaze. He gently wiped her face dry with his thumbs, cupping her cheeks. When she smiled under his touch, he pulled her closer to press their lips together. Once again, she melted under his touch, kissing him back with the desperation that always followed a hard battle.

They parted and rested their foreheads together for a moment, catching their breath. Idri couldn’t keep the smile off of her face when she finally pulled away, and she pressed one hand to the tattoo on his chest. “My demon didn’t have this,” she informed him, not at all embarrassed at the admission.

His lips quirked into a smile, the scarred edge lifting higher in a way that she knew she’d never tire of seeing. “My demon didn’t have tattoos either. I still don’t know what yours is.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Well, let’s get out of here and I’ll make sure you find out.”

He pulled her face in and kissed her again, harder, before standing up. He still wore his jeans, though they were undone, and he started to refasten his belt when she waved at him to stop. “We’re in the Fade, remember? We just have to wake up. It doesn’t matter what we’re wearing.” He chuckled but finished buckling his belt anyway.

Idri walked over to the closet door and hesitated with her hand on the knob. When she opened it, it shimmered with that same green light that had helped her move between the sloth dreams. She reached back and grabbed Cullen’s hand, twining their fingers together, and pulled him through the portal.

\---

They both woke at the same time, jumping to their feet. Idri immediately fell down again as her legs remained asleep, and Cullen caught her quickly. He sat back down, easing them both to the floor, before looking around the room.

Bull was standing much closer to the group than he had been, his face grim. Rylen was pacing, walking from the living room to the kitchen and back again, his palms pressed against his temples. Cassandra stood by the kitchen door, trying to speak to him with each pass he made, but he ignored her.

Cole was gazing at Idri and Cullen with bright eyes, but he kept his mouth shut. Idri had no doubt that he knew what they’d been through in the Fade after everyone had returned, but for the moment he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Dorian had taken Cole’s notebook and was scribbling furiously, barely reacting when Idri jumped up and settled back down within a few seconds.

Idri was all business immediately, even though Cullen had fallen to the floor behind her and still hand his arms wrapped around her body. “Dorian, are there any other demons nearby? What do the spirits say?”

He didn’t look up. “The spirits are more calm than they were before. Apparently Sloth and Desire were regulars here.” He paused to scratch a few words out on his pad, then continued. “A rage demon lurks nearby, but I’m not sure---”

Cole interrupted, unable to contain the words any longer. “It didn’t burn to touch! Beauty like the sun, but gentle, a caress like the sea.” Cullen and Idri both turned to look at him as one, but neither told Cole to be quiet. “She still wants to show you. I think she will.” He paused, canting his head. “Not now. Later. Soon.”

Idri did clear her throat then, even as Cullen snorted quietly behind her, tightening his grip. “Cole, can you tell me if the rage demon is one that bothers Cullen? If it is, we need to take care of it before I can work on repairing the Veil. Otherwise it will just break through somewhere else.”

Cole closed his eyes, focusing on the rage demon. “Swirling, twirling, twisting. Anger raw, burning, breaking. Deep beneath his skin, if I can reach it, I can take him.” Cole opened again, eyes locking onto Cullen’s. “You hold the pain because you think it makes you stronger. You can fight as long as you remember. But you can remember without hurting, without hating. You can be whole and still fight. Let it go.”

Cullen hung his head and took a deep breath. Idri thought it sounded shaky, like he was trying not to cry. He leaned forward and buried his face in Idri’s hair, squeezing his eyes closed. Rylen stopped his pacing to watch, and Cassandra put her hand on his arm, anchoring him.

After Cullen took a few more deep breaths, Cole started bouncing in his chair. “The burning is leaving,” he informed the group. “I helped.”

The entire group turned to Dorian, who nodded his agreement. “The spirits are calm once again,” he confirmed. “They wanted to help, but weren’t sure how. They… they say they will protect you, next time.” Dorian’s eyebrows were raised, clearly surprised by what the spirits were telling him, but he wasn’t going to argue. Spirits didn’t like being argued with, he’d learned.

The tension bled out of the room immediately. Cullen rested his head on Idri’s shoulder, Bull collapsed backwards onto the couch. Cassandra pulled Rylen in for a hug, kissing him firmly on the cheek before pulling away and blushing.

Idri just let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her eyes. She was no longer covered in blood, but she could feel bruises all over her body from her fight in the Fade. Serious injuries always made themselves known after a particularly difficult fight. She knew she’d be sore for days.

She glanced at her watch. It was well after 11:30, quickly approaching midnight. The sloth demon must have held them captive for hours, or maybe the desire demons had been more distracting than she realized.

She pulled away from Cullen’s grasp and turned to face him. As soon as she stopped moving, his hands were on her again, just touching her, making sure she was whole. She smiled at his earnestness, heart warming, and held up her left hand for him to look at.

“A demon gave me this scar. The first one I ever saw. It brought me into the Fade and tried to use me to break a hole through the Veil. I killed it, but I left with this lovely reminder. And now I can help heal people.” She rested it on Cullen’s chest, right over where the lion rested under his shirt. She closed her eyes, focusing the power, and found the way Cullen’s presence put pressure on the Veil.

Usually it was _places_ that made the Veil thin. Battlefields, crime scenes, somewhere where something violent had happened. Rarely did people cause harm to the Veil just by existing. Only people with deep trauma had this effect, but Idri knew between Cole and herself, they would get Cullen’s problem taken care of.

Cullen fought back a moan as Idri’s power washed over him, grinding his teeth together. It felt good, like bad bits of him were falling away. He felt lighter immediately, shoulders slumping.

“What did you _do_?” he demanded, breathless.

She was smiling when he opened her eyes. “You were putting pressure on the Veil. You… your sharp edges, I guess, created little tears, especially when you got upset. I just… Cole and I just helped smooth the edges away.”

Cullen grabbed her left hand in both of his, staring reverently at the scar. “That’s amazing.”

She blushed, face turning bright red, and looks away. Cole had already moved to talk to Rylen, speaking in low voices about what they had seen in the Fade. Cassandra had taken herself into the kitchen, and Bull and Dorian were disassembling the equipment they had brought, repacking it to leave.

“Cullen, I--”

“Can I see you again?” he cut her off accidentally, tightening his grip on her hand. He didn’t have time to feel bad, because her blush deepened, but she looked right at him.

“Of course.” She couldn’t keep the smile off of her face.

He pressed a kiss to her palm, then released her hand and pulled her face into him to kiss her lips. The contact, in real life and not in the Fade, sent a shock through them both. He pulled away immediately and rested their foreheads together again, and that touch too sent a thrill through them both.

“Full to bursting, it almost hurts, but it doesn’t. Nothing feels better. Is it too soon for love?”

Dorian looked over at Cole, who had left Rylen with Cassandra to stand by him. “Are you feeling Idri or our new friend?”

Cole tilted his head, listening for confirmation, then smiled. “Both.”

**Author's Note:**

> If only I were this productive on important things.
> 
> Feel free to leave me a comment with your thoughts, or drop by my [tumblr](http://ma-sulevin.tumblr.com) to chat.


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